2014: Renaissance Year

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”-Anais Nin

In 4 days, I will turn 46. More than past midlife. Been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, some honest looking back at where all the years have gone, and what have I to show for them?

Looking back now, I have had so many second chances: a chance to rebuild my faith, my marriage, my ministry, start over as a fulltime stay-at-home-wife, become a mother twice over at midlife, and get a second lease on life after overcoming breast cancer.

In all of these, I can identify with the famous, long-suffering biblical character, Job, upon whom God poured out so much blessing in the second half of his life, restoring everything he had lost and that had been taken away from him twice over.

And so, this 2014, as I earnestly seek how I am to move forward in this new season, a quiet assurance builds deep within, that this is going to be a period of renaissance, a time of rebuilding, restoring, a bringing forth and coming together of both old and new treasures.

This is the project and the promise set before me, this year, this season. I wait, expectant.

Life verses:

“Do not remember the former things,
nor consider the things of old.
Behold, I will do a new thing,
now it shall spring forth;
Shall you not know it?
I will even make a road in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.”-Isaiah 43:18-19 (NKJV)

“If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of life-giving water.”- Jesus Christ, in the Gospel according to John 7:37-38 (NKJV)

Confessions of a Serial One-Post Blogger

This is my nth blog in the past decade.  I have always loved the written word — the smell of books, the feel of pen gliding on paper, I have filled up notebooks beyond count ever since I received my first diary,  a graduation present from my dad after finishing 6th grade.  That was in the early 80’s.  I haven’t stopped writing since, journal-ing my life all the way from adolescence through midlife; writing up psych reports in my former profession before shifting to fulltime mom-mode to two precocious preschooler, born in midlife (mine), after 11 years of trying. But that’s another story I’ll save for another day.

Along came blogging.  I never quite got the hang of it, though I tried.  My early attempts ended after the first (and only) blog entry followed by months of inactivity during which time I just could not think of anything to blog about that I had not already recorded in my private journals.  Now I am ready to give it another try.  Why now?  

I have come across some very inspiring blogs of other women like myself, through social media.  One thing led to another and finally to wordpress; putting one foot in front of the other, or rather one finger after another on the keyboard, with each press of the button just somehow reawakening the hope that I could possibly after all, learn the art of blogging, and move that much closer towards becoming part of this fascinating community of bloggers (women and otherwise) all with something interesting and unique to share of themselves.  

Why now? I have reached a turning point in my life, where I realize that there is actually something I want to say, something to write about, something to blog about, that no longer fits neatly into a box on my fb wall (and I say this without sarcasm, for I have found fb very helpful in its own way for reaching out to friends and strangers both near and far), and that the things I want to say just cannot be contained any longer in the pages of my journal.  So there.  This is my way of connecting with all of you out there, in the closest thing there may be in cyberspace, to the familiarity and comfort of writing in one’s personal journal.  I am still getting the hang of navigating through this medium; but it cannot possibly get any simpler than this, with a step-by-step tutorial, and writing prompts for added inspiration, too! This was just the extra push I needed to plunge right back into the blogosphere!

I am reminded of the time, years ago, when I took scuba diving lessons; terrified of depths and feeling way out of my depth, feeling the fear, and doing it anyway; just showing up– first, at the dive pool, every session thinking this is definitely going to be my last, but then miraculously surviving, and then going on to the next session, then again deeper and deeper, until finally, from out of the swimming pool I was in open water in the deep blue sea of Anilao, Batangas, navigating through deep waters, all the way to earning my certification as an open water diver! Just like that– one small flutter-kick at a time.  One breath through the air tank, at a time.

 So, deep breath, here goes.  Just going to take this one tiny step at a time, one day at a time, one blogpost, one word, one line, one photo at a time, all the way through the rest of the year, by the grace of God!